Go Your Own Way

A Tail of the Emancipation of One Ms. Stevie, Super Cat

Written by Brianna Bottle

. . . Once upon a time, there was a cat.

But not just any cat. A Super Cat.

Her name was Stevie. This is her story:

Stevie was an orphan; she never met her parents. She didn't mind this, never thought of it as an impediment. She was used to getting along on her own - she was real tough stuff, and didn't need anybody ("I don't need nobody," she made a point of telling most random passerby, through a series of alternately pitched aggressive meows, whether they had acknowledged her or not).

When Stevie was about 2 years old, she was adopted by a weird cat lady who lived in a trailer and collected books. Stevie didn't trust this lady. There was something weird about her, all clumsy, and sort of messy, never making the bed, always singing random bits of songs over and over and trying to make Stevie cuddle. Who trusts someone who sings Christmas songs in August?

With a determination to never have to hear "Baby It's Cold Outside" ever, ever again, Stevie fabricated a plan, full of scare tactics and mischeif and debauchery.

Okay, well, maybe it wasn't actually that ingenious. She was a wily cat, but not necessarily imaginative. Mouse carcasses. That was the plan. Not just mice, either - bunnies, gophers, lizards. Every day, when her ungainly master least expected it ("that sucker . . ." ), Stevie struck. Every day, her master swore she would catch her in the act, and stop the injustice. But every day, she failed . . .

I know what you must be thinking: "But wait . . . didn't you say Stevie was a Super Cat? I thought Super Cats did valiant things, not evil things aimed to terrorize! What is going on here? Where are the standards for internet stories nowadays? This sounds like something some community college student just whipped together haphazardly!"

To that, I say: Hold your horses! My second web page comes out next week - come on by for more of this gripping saga, and find out if Stevie is friend or foe.

Last edited 18 June, 2020

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