A guide to visiting Brazil made by a Brazilian native ;)
10 things to do:
- Visit Rio and Sao Paulo, but definitely pay a visit to Porto Alegre;
- When in Porto Alegre, eat churrasco until you get sick of it;
- Don't forget to also visit the famous park named Parcao, in the downtown area;
- And when you're visiting Parcao, do yourself a favor and drink some yerba mate, popular known as "chimarrao", with all the pidgeons around you;
- Since the pidgeons will be begging for bread, don't forget to bring a small day old loaf of bread with you;
- You'll have to spend at least one Sunday in Porto Alegre, and when you do, please check the famous antique market named Brique da Redencao, located in the Redencao neighborhood. This market only happens on Sundays (duh!);
- Try some of the also famous acai while there. This superfruit is all over the city and it has powerful antioxidants;
- Visit the Padre Chagas street and have some delicious coffee and cake at one of the many cute outdoor coffee shops around the area;
- Of course that, while in Porto Alegre, you'll also want to visit the soccer stadium of the best soccer team of all time, Sport Club Internacional. The stadium is located in the south of the city, in the Praia de Belas neighborhood;
- Eat, eat, eat. Did I mention eat? Try the best italian food you'll ever have in your life at Atelier de Massas restaurant. This lovely little place is located in the historic downtown area of the city.
10 things NOT to do:
- Never ride the bus when one of the local soccer teams are playing at home;
- Never not hug or kiss on the cheek a brazilian person. We are warm and fuzzy. We like physical contact. We will hug and kiss you;
- Never stop eating too quickly in front of a brazilian. We want you to eat. We want you to gain weigh while visiting our country;
- Never call french bread "cacetinho" if you visit another city other than Porto Alegre. This is a southern term we love to use, but other cities find this word very funny and indecent. They will laugh at you. It will get awkward. Feelings will get hurt;
- Never start a conversation about soccer with a brazilian. You won't get out of this conversation that easily. Feelings will also get hurt here;
- Don't ever suppose that a person knows how to dance well because they are from Brazil. Also, don't suppose that we love samba. Most of us don't know how to dance. We are awkward;
- Don't ever ask for your steak medium well or well done. People will stare. And it's also not worth it. Your steak will come to your table very bloody anyway.
- Don't be on time for a party or an appointment. Brazilians have their own brazilian time for everything. If something is supposed to start at 8pm, be sure that people will start showing up at 9pm.
- Don't leave without learning some southern slangs. You have to call someone "tche" at least one time before you go. You will make the natives very happy if you do :);
- Don't ever, under any circumstance do the following:
- Wear a horrible blue shirt from the soccer team Gremio;
- Make friends with a Gremio fan (they are very unpleasant people);
- Go to a Gremio game. They will lose. Feelings will get hurt. You know the rest;
- Drive or go near the area of the Gremio stadium. It is a very dangerous area. Bad things will happen to you if you ever go there. Just don't do it.
Common terms in the "southern brazilian" language
- Someone from the south of Brazil, normally someone that was born and raised in the south.
- This word corresponds to word "dude" used in the english language. Something like that. This word expresses a lot of mixed emotions.
- "Galo veio"
- Someone old enough to know better. Someone wise.
- "Frio de renguear cusco"
- When it's too cold to exist. Yes, the south of Brazil can get really cold.
- "Me caiu os butia do bolso"
- When you get caught totally unprepared. When something sudden happens and you get that expression of "?" on your face. This term also has a lot of meanings.